WGOFISH News … [Issue 002]

... this just in;

RLC donations are rumoured to be the fault of this mornings server sluggishness.  According to renown financier Plumgob Snootybugger, who asked to remain anonymous [snicker], ...

With the state of the Farovian gold market it would seem that everyone is buying and hoarding RLC, and not just the bit that is available on the Love Chum / Gold Exchange there's a huge influx of US currency. Unfortunately all these foreign investments require server time.

Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found giggling foolishly on the server room floor, sitting in a heap of the foreign currency tossing it into the air.

Local authorities are pleading with the public to assist in the apprehension [just for questioning] of believed prankster Daryl “YOU'VE BEEN CHUMMED! “ Davis.  There have need numerous complaints of people being randomly and unexpectedly assaulted with buckets of chum although there has yet to be any evidence of what kind of chum is being used.  Those assaulted however are showing up at the clinics for medical care with their pockets stuffed with the Red Love variety – authorities remain stumped though.

Farovian heart-throb Alvintino Clamptight had to be briefly hospitalized after an all-nighter that went a little astray. Local authorities were called to Waterport Hilton early this morning in response to a frantic call from hotelier Gretta Grubgrinder. In a phone interview with Melvin Codspocket who transported Alvin to the hospital in his ambulance Melvin had the following to say:

Awww man, you should have seen it.  All the furniture had been shoved in the closet and the carpet covered with a plastic ... what, I can't say that on the radio – OK.  Anyway there were several empty bottles of cooking ... huh, that either – FINE.  How about the empty cases of Tarpit Stout and bottles of Rum ... oh, that's OK, great.  There was a lot of them.  It looked like there had been quite the party.  When I got there women were still crawling out of the place – every one of them bare ... no, not that either eh?  Oh, you want to hear about Alvintino.  Man, you should have seen him, lying on the gurney with this huge grin on his face, mumbling jubblies, jubblies ... over and over again.  No, I don't know what that means.  Yea, he was released from the hospital about an hour after I dropped him off. He said he was goin' fishin'. Gotta go – there's a call.

When asked if charges were being laid by the Hilton, Grubgringer was appalled ...

Bring charged against Alivintino – heavens no. Without Alvin I'd end up hanging about on the corner outside the Love Chum / Gold Exchange with the newbies begging for RLC to sell. I just had to call the authorities, the penthouse Alvin rented was 43 stories above me and the ruckus woke me up. No, there'll be no charges ... Alvin is so dreamy <sigh>.

In other news ... Farovian starlet Kareen Axteller was released from custody an hour ago after being found earlier this morning, in an indecent state, several blocks from the Waterport Hilton. When contacted “her people” had no comment other than Ms Axtell is resting. Although a rumoured associate of Clamptight there is no evidence to tie the two situations together.

The US women's mud wrestling team soundly pummelled the sorely outranked team from Upper Mongolia today in a pre-season match put on the for the Girl Guides of Farovia. The highlight of the otherwise uneventful match occurred during half-time when US team captain Terri “I’ll Smack Ya” Pullero rolled Ace photographer Flashbulb Flabbottom into a small ball, stuffed him into an empty popcorn carton [which seem to be every-where these days] and punted him right out of the stadium as she shouted “I told you ... NO PICTURES, you stupid frog!”. Froggy is reported as recovering and sharing a comfy hospital room with his brother.

The weather is expected to remain typical ... light in the morning turning to bright during the day and darkness this evening through to tomorrow.

Now back to the top 10,000 countdown with number 8,105 ... “Chum This Sucker” buy the “The Joan of Farovia Blues Band” on WGOFISH the FM station of choice by all Farovians.