October 3rd – WGOFISH News Flash ...

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Chumley Trapflapper RETURNS [maybe] ... at WGOFISH

Chumley Trapflapper beloved Farovian radio celeb and all round pretty neat guy involved in a horrendous event several months ago here at the station is putting in a come-back. The event that transpired put Chumley in the Waterport Institute for the Real Nutters & Day Care Center [better known colloquially as the Uncle Fudnicks Cracker Factory]. Chumley was released yesterday with a stern warning from Mustabeen Apatient [the owner/operator of the facility, and Chumley’s care taker during his stay] to “go easy on the doing the news bit and avoid reality at all costs”.

As you may remember, he was also wanted by authorities, as a direct result of the events, on one charge of “Invoking Reality in a Fantasy Zone” and at least two counts of “Inciting Innocents to Invoke Reality”. The authorities have provided us a press release on the matter indicating that Chumley has been exonerated of all charges:

“Awwww, what the heck, no one remembers much about that old event anyway and, hey, Chumley Trapflapper is beloved Farovian radio celeb and an all round pretty neat guy. We decided to forgetaboutit eh.”

News From the Ivory Tower

Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands has [sort of] made the following public service announcements:

Deckhand Checks Fixed

Bowing to public pressure as a result of yesterdays massive public demonstration on the lawn of the Ivory Tower, the self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands was up all night tinkering in the server room and had this to say early this morning when he finally poked his head out the server room door ... “Fixed the deckhand multiple check issue.”.
The cheers from the rapidly dispersing crowd were short-lived when a new crowd of angry wranglers marched up to the Ivory Tower chanting rude slogans and generally complaining that they weren’t getting enough deck-hand checks. In a cry of dismay and both hands pulling strenuously at [what’s left of] his hair the self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands went back to sobbing and thumping his head vigorously against the server rack.

How Cool Are You Feature Released

Between the sobs of dismay and over the chanting of the I’m not getting enough deck-hand checks crowd the self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands was also heard to mumble that “ If you have over 1 million points, view exactly where you stand against everyone else on FW: http://bit.ly/b208s (At the top where it says Point Rank: #____ , click "View page")”. Unfortunately, when visiting the site, we were presented with the infamous ... “Temporarily disabled.” which is probably a result of our Supreme Leader hammering the server rack with his head.

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,619 ... "Just another freakin’ cubie" by "The Witch Fish Foursome".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

WGOFISH [March 14] Public Service Announcement

This is Popceleb Wannabe [station manager] with a Public Service Announcement from his Lordship, Sir Andrew Lemmon, the Secretary of Competitions at the Ministry of Competitions and Contests.

---

The Ministry would like to thank all those who run contests and competitions around Farovia and Icelantica. We commend your efforts and appreciate any of those that continue in the future.

With that said, we also would like to remind all Wranglers around the islands, to respect and abide by whatever rules are put into place for said contests and competitions. As much as winning Gold and Red Love Chum for prizes will help any Wrangler in their pursuit of catching fish, these contests are also provided as fun for Wranglers, during their time waiting to Fish Now.

Thanks and Good Luck with your Fishing.

Respectfully yours,

[Original Signed By]
Sir Andrew Lemmon
Secretary of Competitions
Ministry of Competitions and Contests

---

Now back to swaying in your boat to elevator music ...

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Issue 002 – WGOFISH News Sunday Edition

This is Popceleb Wannabe [station manager] broadcasting from the WGOFISH Mobile unit for Chumley Trapflapper with the WGOFISH Sunday News ...

Tragedy at WGOFISH

Chumley Trapflapper beloved Farovian radio celeb and all round pretty neat guy was involved in a horrendous event yesterday here at the station. The event has put Chumley in the Waterport Institute for the Real Nutters & Day Care Center better known colloquially as the Uncle Fudnicks Cracker Factory. He is also wanted by authorities, as a direct result of the yesterdays events, on one charge of “Invoking Reality in a Fantasy Zone” and at least two counts of “Inciting Innocents to Invoke Reality”. The authorities have provided us a press release on the matter and it goes a little something like this:

“Arrest warrants were issued late yesterday for Chumley Trapflapper beloved Farovian radio celeb and all round pretty neat guy on the following counts;
1) One count of “Invoking Reality in a Fantasy Zone” an aggravated felony involving minimum sentencing of loss of fishing license for two days if found guilty, and
2) Two counts of “Inciting Innocents to Invoke Reality” a misdemeanour involving a minimum sentence, on each count, of banishment to “that other place” if found guilty.”

“We [the authorities] are well aware of the circumstances surrounding the events and have investigated the matter as thoroughly as we usually do. We [again it’s us – the authorities] are also aware that Chumley is a beloved Farovian radio celeb and all round pretty neat guy but, the facts of the matter lead us to believe that the steps we have taken might just, in this specific instance, somehow not be the ones that lead us down the bloody garden path - again.”

“If Trapflapper ever makes it out of the Uncle Fudnicks, which considering the mess he was when they hauled into the place yesterday – is highly unlikely, he will be arrested and charged with the crimes mentioned above.”

All that is known at this time about the event is from the only witness, Pairo Giantjubblies the stations receptionist. Shattered by the event and believed to have been involved with Trapflapper at some unthinkable level, Pairo had this to say from the penthouse suite [apparently paid for by the station] where she currently resides:

“There was this bright light coming from the booth window, it was blinding, and lasted for about 14 minutes ... the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. And the booth, it’s sound proof you know, but there was this unholy groaning moaning evil sound that filled the whole building for the whole time. It was all I could do to put down my emery board and call the authorities to help.  If it hadn’t been for Brawny Studmuffin who rescued, ummmm ... ahhhh, oh yea, Chumly and then kindly made sure I got home safe and sound, I’m sure I would just be a mess by now.”

We caught up with Studmuffin at PeePot Petes where he was sitting at a corner of the bar mumbling into his chum-bucket of Tarpit-on-Tap. Typically, as soon as we sidled up beside him and plopped down on the adjacent stool, he starts running off at the mouth like a soup sandwich:

“I sure don’t know the why wranglers keep bringing that stuff in here? Isn’t there that sign at the entrance that says please leave you baggage behind? I don’t get it sometimes, whadda they think that means ... their luggage? Don’t they know that reality is lethal to Farovians? Heck, we don’t even talk about the stuff – most Farovians don’t even know it exists.”
“So I guess you wanna know what happened. Well, we got the call, rounded up all the team from their jobs and headed on over to the station to see what was up. We walk in the door and there’s Pairo, jabberin’ away and bouncing up and down. Well, nobody could even think straight until we got her to stop bouncing. Once she did though there wasn’t any need to try decipherin’ the jabbering ... you could smell it in the air – Reality. In Farovia, the worst kind of trouble.”
“We all just stopped, looked at each other and then sprang into action. HazMat suits for every-one, the Skitzo Seine for Chumly [be the only thing strong enough to contain him – if he was still alive] and six chum-bucket sized spritzers of “Earls Patented Reality-Check”.”
”Ah, Reality-Check, nasty stuff, almost as bad for you as Reality itself but it sure works. The stuff is shipped in you know. From what I understand, it’s a fermentation process from the proceeds of the Sweat-Sock Exchange. Yea, that’s the one ... you swap out the pair of woolly socks you’ve been wearing all week for a fresh pair. Every Sunday – never miss it. Well, they gather them all up and ship them out somewhere, where they get fermented into Reality-Check and it gets shipped back. The wranglers call it Scotch I think, doesn’t matter what you call it though, it’s without doubt the nastiest most disgusting stuff ever to be fermented it makes quick work of reality.”
“Anywho, back to the scene. We get suited up, spritz everything down with Reality-Check, get Chumley wrapped up in the Skitzo Seine and ship him off to the Cracker Factory.”
“Then it’s off to Pairos place for a bit of ... umm, ... toast – yea, went over and she made me some toast, then, I headed down here.”

Concerned about Chumley, I wobbled myself [the interview with Studmuffin was a bit longer and a couple of chum-buckets over what I had intended] over to the Cracker Factory to see how things were shaping up and when I’d get my ace DJ and all round pretty neat guy back to his desk. Well, once the Health Authority lifts the ban on entry to the place. I arrive to find that Chumley has been placed in total isolation and lock-down – still wrapped in the Skitzo Seine and is reportedly in “not exactly the best condition”. I did manage to catch up with Mustabeen Apatient the owner/operator of the facility but, interviewing a guy who seems to be attempting a rendition of the Montey Pithon skit “Ministry of Silly Walks” while flapping his lips with his index finger and tugging at his ears with the other hand, [being half in the sac yourself] didn’t produce a thing worth reporting. It would seem that our Chumley Trapflapper beloved Farovian radio celeb and all round pretty neat guy may be out for a bit.

Farovia Suffers “Brown-Out” – Aussies to Blame

Grossly under-loaded servers during the period when Australians are expected to pick up the slack, caused a service brown-out in Farovia for the other participating wranglers. An apparent “celebratory week-end” colloquially referred to as Mardi Gras had our friends down where the toilets swirl backward dropping their rods [in a manner of speaking] in place of costumes, beads and beer. Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found in the server room whimpering, his arms around the servers, as under loaded hard-drives spun out of control. There was no consoling him with the fact that the Aussies were within their right ... beer was involved. Those still on line, were bored to tears, some even deciding to log off early which further augmented the deteriorating condition.

On the bright side of the event, Wranglette Mandi "Chanteur to the Royal Court" Richardson was reportedly atop the Fish Wrangler float in the associated “Pride Parade”, totally inebriated, doing her best Daryl Hannah in full “Splash” regalia  - belting out her newest top hit ...

“An Ode to Mardi Gras: Fishing Queen”

You can fish, you can dive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the fishing queen

Friday night and the tides are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a bite
Any cast could get that prize
Night is young, hours ‘til sun rise
With a bit of Night fishing, everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a match
And when you land a catch ...

You are the fishing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Fishing queen, feel the heat from Farovian marine
You can fish, you can dive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the fishing queen

You’re a baiter, you turn ‘em on
Hook them easy and then you’re gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You’re in the mood for a match
And when you land a catch ...

You are the fishing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Fishing queen, feel the heat from Farovian marine
You can fish, you can dive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the fishing queen

... and now over to the Sports Desk

--
The Sports Desk
David Nickl

Roger Roider here, with your Sunday Edition of the Sports and Outdoors report, brought to you by the Blue Crescent Hotel and Casino, Where you can always play craps… with or without money.

The Fishertonville 500

Today’s Fishertonville 500 race was an exciting one as Calvin Hardlick edged out Geoff Jordan on the final lap to win the season opening NASBAR event. After the race, we learned the The Underpaid Deckhands Racing Team was fined 1 million Farovian dollars, and Crew Chief Frankie the Nubbin was suspended for 3 races  for failing inspection on Thursday before qualifying. Driver Deckhand Diego was also suspended for 5 races for a series of on track incidents, rumored to have been ordered by team owner Evil Earl. A NASBAR official, citing anonymity, has said an investigation into the allegations is ongoing. Be sure to catch the Tarpit Stout 250, next weekend, from Waterport Raceway.

The Waterport Whammers

MVP President Daryl Davis, already scheduled to throw out the first pitch for the season opener at Whammer Stadium , has issued a proclamation stating that everyone who attends will receive 10 pieces of Red Love Chum… which is known as a hot topic for the local fishing community.  The Whammers host the Strikers from Sans Culpra April 1st through 3rd. Tickets are still available at the stadium ticket office.

Farovian Break Dancing League

The FBDL [Farovian Break Dancing League] continued its season this week. The Waterport Cubie-Slid3rz ended their 3 match losing skid as they knocked off the Fishertonville Spinn3rz.
The Blue Crescent b-Boyz were awarded the victory in their match against the Coast Guard Crew known as R3scuze, when the Coast Guard was unable to attend the match. Officials with the Coast Guard claimed that they were out on rescues, or out fining illegal scuba dives. Many of those in attendance think otherwise.. As BC b-Boyz Captain, Br3akN3ck, told me in an interview ...

“Man we know demz CG fooz waz too blowed [drunk] to come get some of da b-Boyz”

Coast Guard officials have yet to reply to calls about this allegation.

Trophy Fish Anomalies

Wranglers from all over Farovia are noticing that the amount of trophy fish being caught around the islands seem to be on the rise. One look at the Trophy Fish boards and its easy to see. We caught up with one local Wrangler in Fishertonville who thinks he might know what’s going on ...

“ Its those people from Icelantica man… they’re bring their glacier water or whatever with them when they come over here.. And that’s makin’ the fish like ... bigger man.”

Others have a different idea. Like University of  Farovia at Waterport Marine Biologist Fishguts Emaciator ... who says that:

“Tests on recent specimens around the Islands has indicated high levels of un natural chemicals, not unlike those found in Hair Gel, Perfumes, and other fluid potions”

Officials have looked into the matter, and have determined that the influx of Trophy Fish simply  a “fluke”.

 

The Farovian Outdoors report ...

... brought to you by the Icelantica Tourism Board ... Visit Icelantica… and have no money left to get home ...

• Waterport and Blue Crescent are ideal this week… Calm seas and light winds.
• Sans Culpra is still under a Swift Current Advisory
• Fishertonville is seeing high seas, and strong winds… Dinghy Advisories are posted.

 

This is Roger Roider reminding you to Check your nets, Air your Balls, and go for the SCORE!! Listen to WGOFISH for the latest news, weather and sports stories from around Farovia.

 

... and now back to Popceleb for the wrap-up

 

The “Three Card Monty” Beat ...

Authorities are warning wranglers to be on their guard and keep an eye peeled for wrangler Ima Totalmoron. No this is not the real name and we’re unsure if they really have one. A number of the aliases known to be used by Ima have been published to a recent popular community event. Although there is no evidence of wrong-doing at hand, we firmly believe that if there actually is nothing up, then the name we’ve chosen to use is even more fitting.

All wranglers are urged to be extremely careful when making donations of RLC and Gold to people they just do not know. Be sure to check out profiles and if it looks goofy [someone else just gave them 100 RLC or 10,000 Gold – for good karma] ... run away, it most assuredly is goofy! If the OP is from Yabberwonky Prep School and there are other bids from Yaberwonky knocking the price up, even if it “seems” they don’t know each other ... it’s Three Card Monty in action folks.
FYI: The Yaberwonky folks can’t see that their post have Yaberwonky in them.

Be careful out there folks and good fishin’.

 

WGOFISH in the future ...

Yes, as you’ve probably concluded by now Chumley is out of the game for a spell. BUT, WGOFISH isn’t owned by Chumly it’s owned by me, Popceleb Wannabe and it’s doors will always be open and independent broadcasters welcome to use the facility at their leisure for fun, profit and fame.  In addition Pairo Giantjubblies, my <ahem> assistant will be available to archive any broadcasts you care to make ... time permitting.

I will be visiting Chumley at the Cracker Factory as time permits and will be more than happy to regale you with his adventures here on WGOFISH – you really can’t keep a screw ball like him down for long.  If it looks like the bout with Reality that has taken down our Chumley, beloved Farovian radio celeb and all round pretty neat guy for the count, then we’ll be shopping around for a replacement as soon as the grisly details are in.

Unfortunately, without a DJ, we will no longer be able to bring you the wide variety of fishing tunes you all seem to enjoy so much, but my plan is to prop open the elevator door and tape the studio mike to the speaker in there. This should provide you with some noise to fish by on an uninterrupted basis, as the studio is in a one storey building and no one uses the elevator anyway.

Good fishing, tight lines and thanks for all the fish.

This is Popceleb Wannabe [station manager] at WGOFISH signing off ...

::ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss::

 

 

 

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March 06 – Sports News

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a WGOFISH Sports News Flash ...

--
The Sports Desk
David Nickl

 

Roger Roider here with your WGOFISH Sports and Outdoors report, Brought to you by Cap’n Jozek’s Supply Store… Your Store for More, Locations in Waterport, Fishertonville and Blue Crescent.

 

Qualifying for Sunday’s NASBAR [National Association of Speed BoAt Racing] season opening Fishertonville 500 was marred by controversy as The Underpaid Deckhands Race team was hit with sanctions from the NASBAR Governing Body, for illegally installing Rocket Boosters on the number 00 PeePot Pete’s sponsored race boat. Driver Deckhand Diego said “no speaka da henglish.”  Team Crew Chief Frankie the Nubbin was spotted being escorted from the pits and many suspect a suspension is looming. I tried to catch team owner Evil Earl and he said the sanctions were unfair.. And that he would personally see to it that the race would be an eventful one.
You can catch the race on FTV Channel 10 at 11amPDT on Sunday.

 

Spring Training is in full force and the FLB [Farovian League Baseball] season starts in less than one month. Teams are scrambling to fill rosters and get pitching rotations in order. One lucky team, The Waterport Whammers have landed the luxury of having the MVP President of Farovia, Daryl Davis,  throw out the first pitch in their home opener against the Sans Culpra Strikers.

 

The Ultimate World Championship Poker tournament is going on at the Blue Crescent Hotel and Casino this weekend. 10,000 of Farovia’s best players are in town to compete for the Grand Prize of  10 million RLC. One of the best, Bill Hellspoof, said:

“That RLC is going to be MINE. None of the so called, poker players, can out bluff the great Bill Hellspoof.”

 

Look for the final table to be broadcast LIVE this Saturday night at 8 on FSPN.

 

And now the latest results from the FWAC [Farovian Wranglers Association Competition]

• The Wranglettes beat the Chum Lords 33lbs to 29lbs
• The Red Diablos defeated the Faronators 21lbs to 16lbs
• The Upchuckers beat the Tarpit Junkies 23lbs to 19lbs
• The Magmaniacs downed Earl’s Eels 30lbs to 22lbs

 

Sans Culpra Diving Leagues still accepting applications. Check your local offices.

 

And now the Outdoors report for Farovia

• Waterport, Magma Reef and Blue Crescent seeing calm seas and light winds.
• Fishertonville is under a Small Craft Advisory for the next 12 hours.
• Sans Culpra is under a Swift Current Advisory until Monday.

 

This is Roger Roider reminding you to check your nets, air your balls, and go for the SCORE!

Stay tuned for all the latest News and Sports from Around the Islands… Right here on WGOFISH.

 

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,689 ... "Gimmie Dat Taing" by "Terri & The Leeezards".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

WGOFISH - Fishing for a Cure

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

--
The Features Desk
Timothy Stulken

Recently, many wranglers have observed random acts of kindness by their fellow wranglers, but others have been performing greater acts behind the scenes. The Putriditis Awareness Organization has been planning its first semi-annual “Fishing for the Cure” event off the shores of Blue Crescent.  PAO spokesperson Marlin Monroe said that the event is designed to help raise money and awareness for Putriditis, a serious disease afflicting many of the younger wranglers in Farovia. In a recent interview Monroe is quoted as saying:

“Putriditis arises from having too weak of a top skill to handle the Putrid’s amazing stench. Currently, the only known treatment for this ailment is the blood of an Angelica Fish; however, these appear extinct at the moment.”

Recently many wranglers have noticed unusually large Putrid Catching streaks arising as one of the results of Putriditis.  The disease results when the haunting aroma of the Putrids causes the wranglers to go insane and start talking to imaginary Schitzo Sharks.  One noob wrangler with a 30 Putrid catching streak said:

“I didn’t realize that if I never bought the higher skills I would be catching so many Putrids, ... I can’t catch anything else now. “

PAO hopes Farovian wranglers will band together to help destroy this evil disease by fishing Putrids out of existence. With just over 2.5 million Putrids caught to date, one would assume the problem would be subsiding, but fishery officials estimate the actual Putrid population at much higher than any other “high level fish.”  One official is quote saying:

“They are all too common in Blue Crescent, and many fishers report catching as many as 10 in one day.”

Monroe urges all wranglers with abilities high enough to handle Putrids to band together by whipping out their trusty Hydropoles and destroying some Putrids while listening to WGOFISH Radio for the next “Fishing for a Cure Lottery". All proceeds [the Putrids part] will go to Cap’n Jozek, who will process the fish and use the meal at the Angelica hatcheries and increase the likeness of a cure being discovered.

Remember, watch for “The Fishing for a Cure Lottery" coming soon to a message board near you.

 

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,689 ... "Highway to Icelantica" by "Freda Fish".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

March 05 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Farovian Special Forces Raid House in Fishertonville

--
The News Desk
Andrew Lemmon

Late yesterday evening, acting upon tips received from local residents, the Farovian Special Forces raided a house on Surf Breaker Quay on the edge of Fishertonville. Apparently, local residents had seen many men lurking and sneaking around to the house after dark. The leader of the Special Forces Unit, Major Rock Buffbody, had this to say after the raid was conducted:

“The local law enforcement agency had contacted us when they had begun receiving numerous tips from the locals about many men furtively moving through the back bushes and trees to the house in question. The locals felt the men had something to hide and that they were up to no good, possibly even plotting to bring down the recently elected government. With this in mind, we had no recourse but to conduct a raid of the domicile in question and apprehend the men who were present. To our chagrin, what we found were a group of desolate and despondent married men holding a support group. Upon learning this, we immediately packed up our gear and returned to our barracks.”

Apparently, the men had been meeting secretly for many days now. They were all feeling down due to the fact that their wives were also fishing and bringing home more gold and better catches than they were. When reached, the leader and originator of the group, Mike Cook, had this to say:

“It’s very embarrassing when it’s the man’s job to bring home the bacon and the woman’s job to stay home and provide a clean, comfortable setting for us after a long days work out on the boats. Then when our womenfolk start going out in their own boats and bringing home a much better haul than the men do, it just gets too much for us to handle. That’s when I decided to begin this support group for all the men who are in this situation. It allows us a better way to cope with our inadequacies.”

The local law enforcement agency released this statement:

“We acted upon the information we received and felt that the situation was a possible threat to our democratically elected government. We felt that the situation was too much for us to handle and thus we contacted the Farovian Security Forces. I commend them for their prompt response and the professionalism with which they performed their operation.”

Civic groups though are calling for an inquiry as to how the situation was handled. They feel that since the men were doing nothing wrong, that the raid violated their civil liberties and that the Special Forces Unit acted without gathering more information as to whether the raid was justifiable.

 

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,677 ... "Oh Baby You Make Me Look So Bad" by "Whipped".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

March 04 News Flash

This is Roger Roider with your WGOFISH Sports and Outdoors report.

The Waterport Cubie-Slid3rz continued their depressing slide in the FBDL [Farovian Break Dancing League] as they lost another heartbreaking match to the Blue Crescent b-Boyz. The defeat has the Slid3rz wiggling to save their season. I caught up with Slid3rz Team Captain Plagio Cephalyous a got the following quote;

This loss was tough on us G, even worse than the crash to the Coast Guard team, R3scuze, who showed last comp, each of them carrying a bottle of Rum G, and half in the bag to boot.
Sux, big time man.

The Slid3rz will host the Fishertonville Spinn3rz next weekend.

 

In other sports news, Citizens of Farovia are all up in arms about a merger of curling leagues with the league of Icelantica. Fans are upset the the Icelanticans might have the natural advantage in the sport. "They have like, Ice and stuff" says outraged Fishertonville resident Pepper Mint, who also competes for the Farovian National Team. Representatives from Icelantica were, out curling, and unavailable for comment.

 

Sports Tournament resource usage has sparked outrage amongst many Farovian Wranglers. The Coast Guard was alerted to a scheme to hijack a boat full of highly potent resources for personal gain, after one local wrangler, whom shall remain anonymous, was overheard in PeePot Petes, a Waterport local, gloating on how easily he gained access to the resources. Seemingly deprived wrangler Sharkey "Sharkbait' Simpson spoke for the angry mob with;

This feller gots all the resources and we aint got none of em.
Hows we sposed to compete?

The court was convened and banished the criminal to life at sea... with no chance of rescue.

 

Quick Scores from the around the Farovian Wranglers Association Competition.

• The Tarpit Junkies defeated the Magmaniacs 29lbs to 24.5lbs
• The Faronators tore down the Wranglettes 34.6 lbs to 17.3 lbs and
• The Upchuckers eeked past the Chum Lords 23lbs to 20.6lbs

 

And now the outdoors report for Farovia...

Waterport is seeing choppy seas 3-5 ft so you Dinghy users take caution.

Fishertonville, Blue Crescent and Magma Reef all seeing calm waters.

Sans Culpra Diving leagues are looking for members! Sign up at your local Office.

Be Sure to check the full recap of the weeks Sports action in the Sunday Edition of WGOFISH News..

This is Roger Roider reminding you to check your nets, air your balls, and go for the SCORE!!

 

These stories in from our sports correspondent,
David Nickl

 

Now back to Chumley Trapflapper ...

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,689 ... "Chum in the Box" by "Alicia in Chains ".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

The B Side: Stayin' Alive

... a homage to Alvin, our 'onary VP

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a fisherman: no time to talk
Booster’s loud and stout is warm, I've been fishing around
Since I was born
And now it's all right, it's okay
And you may fish another way
We can try to understand
The Fish Wranglette’s effect on man

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Feel the waves breakin' and Magma Reef shakin'
And we're castin' a line, castin’ a line
Ah, ha, ha, ha, castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Ah, ha, ha, ha, castin’ a line

Well now, Wranglers get low and Wranglers get high
And if they can't get either, there’s fish to fry
Got a posse of wranglettes and I can cruise
I'm a fisherman and I just can't lose
You know it's all right, it's okay
I'll live to fish another day
We can try to understand
The Fish Wranglette’s effect on man

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Feel the waves breakin' and Magma Reef shakin'
And we're castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Ah, ha, ha, ha, castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Ah, ha, ha, ha, castin’ a line

Life goin' nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life goin' nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah, castin’ a line

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a fisherman: no time to talk
Booster’s loud and stout is warm, I've been fishing around
Since I was born
And now it's all right, it's okay
And you may fish another way
We can try to understand
The Fish Wranglette’s effect on man

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Feel the waves breakin' and Magma Reef shakin'
And we're castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Ah, ha, ha, ha, castin’ a line, castin’ a line
Ah, ha, ha, ha, castin’ a line

Life goin' nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life goin' nowhere, somebody help me, yeah
I'm castin’ a line...

--
Mandi Richardson (Australia)

Read More......

March 03 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Illegal Putrid Repellents Seized ...

Late yesterday evening, the Farovian Coast Guard, acting on an anonymous tip, stopped and seized an unregistered freighter entering Farovian waters. The freighter contained highly illegal Putrid Repellents. After a search of the cargo, local authorities were notified and Earl, brother of our beloved Captain Jozek, was arrested when his name was found to be on a delivery manifest included in the cargo.

When asked about his involvement, Earl had this to say;

I was suffering heavy losses at the Hotel and Casino on Blue Crescent. They banned me from entering the Casino and they sent two gentlemen, Luigi and Guido, from their Accounting Department to the shack in Waterport, looking to collect what I owed. I didn’t have the money at the time and they told me that they would return and I wouldn’t like it when they did. I did not appreciate the tone of their voices, so decided to act against the Hotel. Knowing that the Hotel is the only one on Blue Crescent, I figured that I would try to put them out of business.

When asked about why Putrid Repellents were illegal, an official from the Fishery Department released this statement;

The Putrid Fish are a pestilence in the waters around Blue Crescent. Their agonizing stench drives away tourists and we are trying to do what we can to rid ourselves of this affliction. Anything that causes the population of these fish to increase just makes it that much harder to eradicate the species from our waters.

EU Imposed Trade Ban Possible ...

The Farovian Trade Ministry has been in closed door meetings with representatives of the EU since their arrival in Waterport on Sunday. Apparently the EU is considering a Trade Ban with Farovia. It appears that fish by-products have been found washing up, in great numbers, on the beaches of Farovian trading partners. In a conference call with officials of the respective trade partners Coast Guards, they all stated there was an increased sighting of Farovian freighters travelling off their waters, starting from around the time the problem of the by-products washing up on the beaches. They did not believe that the increase in sightings and the increase in fish by-products on the beaches was a coincidence.

When the Farovian trade Ministry was contacted, Trade Master Line Baiter, had this to say;

Of course there is going to be an increase in the number of sightings of freighters. Ever since the marked increase in the number of Professional Fish Wranglers all over Farovia, our own facilities cannot handle the increase in processing fish by-products. We have contracted with some Canadian companies to handle the Fish by-products and make fertilizer using them. The shortest route for the freighters to travel to Eastern Canada from Farovia happens to be through the Mediterranean ... maybe.

No one bothered to contact the Canadians, as no one wants to hear what they have to say.

 

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,689 ... "Adrift Without You" by "Mr E Lurker".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

 

These stories in from our foreign correspondent,
Andrew Lemmon Read More......

MVP Presidential Inauguration Speech

My fellow peoples of Farovia, today is a great day. The Wranglers of Farovia have officially voted me the MVP President, I'm here with the most beautiful of all wranglettes, the weather is ideal for fishing having caught more than my fair share already today, I've got a RLC bucket that's overflowing as usual and, thankfully, half a case of Tarpit Stout in me ... the rest will be joining it's brethren brew soon. Yes, a great day indeed.

I would like to welcome our honoured guests from the Farovian hub of Waterport and welcome all wranglers who have come here to fish and enjoy these beautiful islands. I would like to recognize the other nominees from the MVP Presidential Election!!! thread and specifically thank John Aspiasu who's idea it was to wander down this path. I would especially like to thank Gretta Grubgrinder of the Hilton for compin' Alicia and I with the penthouse suite for the week, fully stocked with Rum and Stout, and moving Alvin down to the efficiency room adjoining your quarters. Of special personal significance, I’d like to thank The First Lady, Alicia McCoy not only for doing all the charity work that she has been into lately and not even for selling the RLC out of the pot to keep me in Tarpit Stout and my habit adequately supplied but for coming along and making Fish Wrangler a lot more to me than I ever thought it could be.

In all seriousness though, I am actually honoured that those of you that took part in the initial and the subsequent threads would consider me as a favourite when it comes to "someone who is consistently entertaining and always good for a laugh" ::buurrrrrrp:: ... but enough of that, let's get back to my Presidency.

::swigs deeply from the tarpit stout in his left hand::

So, what can you wranglers expect from me as your newly elected MVP President. Well, let me inform you right here and now that, using the powers vested in me through the position of MVP President Elect to the fullest extent possible;

::swigs heavily from the tarpit stout in his right hand::

• I will ensure that every wrangler has the continued right and freedom to Fish Now every fifteen minutes earning points and gold whenever you catch a fish,
• I will ensure your right to buy RLC through a number of different channels including the Love Chum / Gold Exchange where fair market value will continue to mean squat and you have the right, naaaa the privilege, ::burp:: to pay what's bing asked,
• I will ensure that you maintain the right to pack up your gear and ::hick:: piss right off whenever you feel the game isn't going in the direction you think it should,
• that and all the other bits of the game ... I'm all over your rights and freedoms as they are written/exist.

::chugs the stout in the left hand::
::tosses the bottle to the back of the stage ::
::slides a fresh one out of the box and chews the top off it::

Well, to get to the meat of things, as it were. As I've yet to see a President anywhere ::hick:: let himself get bogged down with anything to do with his actual job, I've got a few <ahem> appointments I would like to make. The appointments are like this:

• First off ... I'm appointing Alvin as my Vice President. This will work out well for every one as I plan on appropriating the suite I'm in as our permanent headquarters and seeing as how Alvin already has it “fitted out” shall we say, I can't think of a better choice. Alvin's job will be to do all the stuff you think I'm gonna do and sign my name to it.
• Next, John Aspiasu, yea the guy with the big mouth who started all this. How he could possibly be getting anything other than the House Speaker position would baffle the best of us. He'll be tasked with keeping Alvin and the rest of these reprobates out of trouble. Talk about the cat with the keys to the aviary.
  Moving on ...

::sucks back the remainder of the stout in his right hand::
::grabs a replacement::

• Terri “The Leeezard” Puleo is a natural, with her pleasant demeanour and feisty whit for the office of Secretary of State ... she'll be a treat at all those “dinners”.

::buurrrrrrpppppp:: ... woah, pardon me
::staggers a bit::

• Although the Secretary of Morale portfolio was originally going to be filled with someone else – you see I really wanted to fill it with someone who doesn't actually have any. The portfolio is going to Len Orth. He's close.
• If there's anyone around that can get away with calling a red-neck wrangler a prancing poofter and get thanked for the compliment it's Dave Keighan so the office of Public Relations will be going to him. Based on the selections I've made so far, I am certain his skills will come in handy from time to time. ::ppfffffttttt:: oh dear, sorry about that. My cloddily functions seem to have a mind of their own. ::brrrrrrppp::
• Secretary of Contests, without question Andrew Lemmon is the right man for the job ... better Andrews RLC being given away than mine.
• Mandi Ducharme is hereby appointed to the office of Governor General. Any of you unfamiliar with this position can have a squint at how it works for the chosen Canadians who do this ... to sum up; travel the world in the comfort of a private jet and party with dignitaries and mucky-mucks all on the taxpayers tab. Actual responsibilities ... none.
• Finally, Kristen Snoderly is assigned to the position of R.A.K Secretary.

Before we wrap it up here, I'd like to address the claims made today by the pretentious Farovian law firm of Duey, Cheatum & How .... they're out of their minds and further more <ummm> Alvin, handle this will you.

Well, I'm getting the pick up the pace signal from the stage manager- either that of she's fanning her armpits. Not only that but being just a little on the blotto side at the moment, I think I'll take this opportunity ... oh man, I gotta get out of here and have a horrendous squirt pretty soon.

My final honour this evening, is to introduce to you Ms Mandi Richardson who will delight you with her new hit single “T'was The Night Before ...”.

::staggers/falls off Tarpit Stout box::
::staggers off stage with Alicia keeping him upright while ...  ::
::waving to the crowd hollering “I love you guys … I really do” ::

 

--
President Elect
Daryl Davis
Farovia

Read More......

ELECTION RESULTS IN QUESTION!!!

*************************NEWS FLASH*********************

Hello fellow Farovians. My name is Barney Nackle the press representative for the prestigious Farovian law firm of Duey, Cheatum & Howl.

I am here today to notify the honorable populace of Farovia that their voices have not been ignored. And the prestigious law firm of Duey, Cheatum & Howl will be bringing suit according to Neptunian law, to the Supreme Court of Farovia. To have a recount of the fishy ballots cast in the first election of a Presidential MVP. I am currently not at liberty to discuss the specifics of the case, but rest assured the law firm that I represent will insist on full disclosure of all Tarpit stouts and RLC contribution from said "winner" of the MVP position. Also what relationship if any said unvalidated candidate has with those no neck Waterport casino gorillas and Earl himself. This plus his recent absence and extravagent lifestyle has also brought the attention of the F.I.R.S. Farovian Internal Revenue Service. Fellow Farovians your voice will be heard.

Thank you and have a nice day!!!

--
News Correspondent
Donn Zindren

 

Response From the Solicitor of the Respondent

I am Miss Prissy Fishfin, graduate of Joan Farovia Law School, as a Para-legal. I am appalled at the aspirtions cast upon our Daryl Davis. I hereby offer my services to ferret out all qualified witnesses to testify on behalf of our beloved Daryl (Now Terri don't go taking offense at the use of ferret. I know ferrets are sweet, cuddly creatures.) As I am extremely qualified having been employed for 12 years for the firm of Polecats, Chumley and Popcorny. Daryl, when you retain a law firm, if not mine, I will devote whatever time I have to aiding your cause in appreciation for all your red love you've given us.

Read More......

Issue 001 – WGOFISH News Sunday Edition

This is Chumley Trapflapper with WGOFISH News Sunday Edition ...

Top of the news …

In an unprecedented election held late last night Wrangler Darly "You’ve Been Chummed" Davis was voted to the position of MVP President by a group of his peers. Davis, with a hangover that had him looking like a large burlap sack of crushed bums, accompanied by the always gorgeous Aliciata McCoyver stopped by the station for a brief interview. Davis, having insisted on a written set of questions prior to the interview had this in response:

FOR --0 RLC
_ ... p___ ... _n ... b___g ... _ ... f___ ... r_l_r ... __th ... fr__ ... R__ ... __r ... __l ... th_ ... n_w__es. I ... __ll ... b_ ... ann____ing ... __ ... c___n_t ... _pp_______ts ... f______ng ... t__ ... i_____rat__n ... s__e__le_ ... __r ... s___t__e ... __m___ow ... _v_n_ng.  N_, ... ___ ... ___not ... h_v_ ... _ ... d__e ... w_th ... A____a.  T__t’s ... __l ... f__ ... _ow, ... _e ... __ve ... pl_ns ... f__ ... t_e ... r-m__nd_r ... o_ ... __e ... d_y.

The Supreme Council of the Farovian Islands who were rumoured to have been incensed with the move move by Wranglers to organize themselves seemed quite calm. As it turns out, it was more the interruption of a Sunday out on the boat, caused by the emergency meeting, that bothered them. The meeting this afternoon to "discuss" the Wrangler Election issue involved several cases of Tarpit Stout and in the end they all staggered off in different directions not having the foggiest recollection of why they had met let alone who called the meeting in the first place.

Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found in the server room staring vaguely off into oblivion through glazed eyes and with the oddest little smirk on his face, and naturally deemed "unavailable" for comment.

 

The FBI [Farovian Bureau of Instigation] is showing interest in Earls Shack of Waterport again. I caught up with Sir Manly A Stiffwick Esq., spokesperson for the bureau at the Rusty Hook [where he usually is] and with the aid of a few dozen Tarpit Stouts was able to squeeze the following out of him:

There have been a lot of people hanging around at Earls that we haven’t seen in quite a long time. They’re all goin’ in with these large, odd looking bundles wrapped with last Sundays paper and coming out with small beeping packages wrapped in octopus skin. On their way in they’re mighty careful with the package their haulin’ as well. Sometimes there’s a whole crew inchin’ along with this large bundle … mighty suspicious if you ask me.
Some of the more well established wranglers have been disappearing for long periods and suddenly reappearing without warning and the ones that aren’t disappearing are crankier than we’ve ever seen them. A lot of grumblin’ goin’ on about the place. Yea, an’ those that do disappear, when they return, some are ending up at the clinic getting frostbite treatment. Now even you’ll have to agree that this is very very odd, usually it’s just the newbies … hangin’ on to their first cubie for too long, admiring it, with that big dumb grin on their gobs, that get the frostbite.
The load on the GPS transmission system has gone nuts, we’ve never seen anything like it. It’s near peaked out all the time now – the needle never used to even flutter a bit above 0 before. The techies are comin’ in from the mainland to check it out.
The scariest part is that there’s been a lot of explosions lately amongst the wranglers. No one has been hurt but it’s all very suspicious and we’re pretty sure that Earl is at the bottom of it somehow … he usually is when things blow up.

[I suspect there was more to get out of Stiffwick, but at this point we were both more than a bit blotto and ended up in a fist fight over this cute, I think, little wranglette, I think, that walked in and clearly wanted to have neither of us – I’m sure of.]

I do recall mentioning that I had heard that there were couple of surly looking, no-neck beasts, rumour to be from the Blue Crescent Hotel and Casino, have been seen hanging around Earls but as yet, no one is able to make anything of it. Wondering if it could be related to these other issues Earl has himself involved in. Stiffwick could make nothing of it and was probably incapable of understanding the issue at any rate.

 

Several delegates from the EU Trades Commission arrived unexpectedly in Waterport late today. Anyone who has anything to do with shipping to/from Farovia has seemingly vanished so I expect it will be a while before the mystery unfolds.

Financial News …

The RLC market is seemingly stabilized ... according to renown financier Plumgob Snootybugger, who [again] foolishly asked to remain anonymous [snicker], ...

With recent events in Farovia, it would seen the RLC market is getting softer than the jubblies of a Joan of Farovia that’s been sitting, baking in the sun at the bottom of the boat for much too long.  Prices are fluctuating wildly as the usual state of the market snivelling continues on rock solid but it is what it is. It’s not like we owe you the RLC at a set price. Let me remind you that the price is generally unwavering at the store where exchange really matters.

[Editor: Bit of pompous git our Mr. Snootybugger ... wouldn’t you say?]

The Farovian Music Scene ...

In a small ceremony of 30,000 wranglers, at the Blue Crescent Hotel and Casino early last evening Amusia Disambiguator of the Nasal Intonational Council of Farovia presented Mandi Richardson, the winner of the inaugural "Anthem for a Wrangler" Contest, with the top prize in the contest.

Richardson, presented her winning piece, "T'was The Night Before ..." to an enthralled audience after being presented with the coveted grand prize by Disambiguator.

The prize package is no less than an all expenses paid trip to Waterport where she will be accommodated at the internationally renown Waterport Hilton and escorted by none other than Earl himself to an all you can eat fish dinner at the grand opening of Bessy's new restaurant – once it opens.

The critics loved Richardson, a sampling of the reviews is as follows:

"...has the musical chops to become a legend... intimate & completely engaging. Every sound Richardson makes is part of the musical fabric... scats and sings lyrics with a feathery, breathy voice that is gentle, feminine and full of musical nuance and color... She handles flowing, simple melodies and complex, angular lines with equal ease...
- Bob Linechucker, Blue Cresent Boat and Fish Journal

"Beautiful voice. The pitch, everything is perfect... She sings beautifully...5 stars"
- Berta Chumchomper, Fishing for the Freaks of Farovia Weekly Magazine

"Richardson  is a singer with a deep, almost magical connection to the music. She takes a lot of chances with her understated style, and it works. Every note is expressive, powerful, and pretty. And most important, her heart is in the right place."
- Sir Manly A Stiffwick Esq. ... Admirer

"Richardsons soft angelic vocal qualities, warm as Brazilian breezes, encompass the room and fill our souls with the lovely sound of soft kisses and caressed bodies... I find myself waiting to exhale after every song.... At the moment, the world outside our musical haven does not exist. How she sings so beautifully with that fish in her mouth is stunning"
- Chumley Trapflapper, WGOFISH News

Rumour has it that Richardson will perform the number at the inaugural banquet of MVP President Darly Davis tomorrow night.

In Sports News …

The Kiwi Men's team showed excellent form in the early stages of the Farovian International Curling Championships held in the forum at Sans Culpra yesterday. They came from behind for a narrow 9-8 win over neighbours Australia and then beat the Chinese contingent to remain the only unbeaten team after four games. This morning the Kiwis will meet USA, who have dropped just one game, to complete the first half of the double round-robin pool play section. Japan and pre-tournament favourites China will also meet, both teams having a two-from-four record, while Australia will play the Chinese who were unlucky to lose an extra-end game against the Japanese. The final rounds in the Women's draw will run today to complete the double round robin pool. China and Japan, both ranked in the world top ten, have emerged as the form teams but the local NZ side can be assured of good local support as they strive to improve their 50% record for the season.

Ace reporter to the Farovian Times, Froggy Flabbottom interviewed Len Orthunder skip for the men's team from USA following their match on Saturday. Len gave Froggy a number of exclusive curling tips:

The most important tip in curling is well exercised, supple wrists. Wrist and the actions of the wrists are what make or break champions.
The next most important is hands, you’ve got to have big hands – not with fat fingers though, big hands with long thin agile fingers.
Finally, you need to have all your equipment within easy reach, stumbling around or over reaching can loose you hard won seconds in a tight match.
Let me share a few of my “hard won techniques of a wiener”, that work every time, when it comes to curling:

1. Use a rat tailed comb and keep it tucked behind your ear and snugly, but not too tight, into your hair … of course if you don’t have any hair you’ll have to wear a ball cap – NY Giants is the one for me,
2. Keep a good supply of bobby pins in your gob, nothing worse than rolling up a tight curl in record time, and realizing your out of pins,
3. Curlers, you have to be able to hold at least a half-dozen in your “split-out” hand – that’s the one you use with the comb to nip out just the right amount of hair to be curled,
4. Keep the “roll-up” hand free and well exercised [this is where us fellas win out over the girls, well usually] – a “roll-up” hand in top form, will win a match every time.

Froggy asked Len if the team uniforms, consisting of a grass skirt [worn ala kilt] and coconut shell bra, were intended to distract the other teams. Unfortunately Len had sashayed off before hearing the whole question and we may never know the answer.

Froggy then turned to interview the skip of the women's team Anita Gudshtupping, originally from Germany and currently living in the US on a very comfortable student visa. Unfortunately, he was a little late as she had just completed the cycle of rolling his brother ace photographer Flashbulb Flabbottom into a small ball, stuffing him into an empty coconut shell half [which seemed to have no purpose, considering Anita's construction] and punted him right out of the stadium as she shouted “I told you ... NO PICTURES, you stupid frog!”. Primarily due to the fact that both the men's and women's team wear identical uniforms [yes, ala kilt as well], although all eyes were on the incident, nobody noticed where, or even if, Flashbulb landed.

Public Service Bulletin [as found] ...

Joe Faron;
alvin, relax brotha.  im not changing anything with the old poles leveling. the only thing i'm going to be doing within the next month is allowing level 50/50 poles to have two 25 level addons, which will bring it to level 100.. and at every increment, such as 60,70,80,90,100.. there will be a new "quest" where you have to find speem.cific fish to make a dish for earls wife bessy's new restaurant. once you complete a quest, you then get the dish displayed on your profile, and each quest/dish will have a different level of difficulty. i'll be posting more on this later.. but this will just make your hard work, more worth it.. since you'll get an extra something now for having a level 50/50 pole.

 

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,701 ... "Beak Beak Beak Me Baby" by "The Mammoth Squids".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

March 01 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

In an unprecedented election held late last night Wrangler Darly “You’ve Been Chummed” Davis was voted to the position of MVP President by a group of his peers.

The Supreme Council of the Farovian Islands is rumoured to be incensed with the move by Wranglers to organize themselves and is meeting this afternoon to “discuss” the issue.

Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found in the server room, thumping his head against the wall mumbling “what have I created” over and over again to himself and was deemed “unavailable” for comment.

The release of the first edition of the Sunday News will be running a little late as we dig ourselves out of this heap of releases from Trouters wire service.

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,701 ... "Red Red Whine" by "The Dissatisfied Wrangler Mixed Choir".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

Feb 27 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Just hours ago Amusia Disambiguator of the Nasal Intonational Council of Farovia announced the winner of the inaugural "Anthem for a Wrangler" Contest.

Mandi Richardson, the winner of the prestigious award was unavailable for comment and rumoured to be in the shower practicing for the inaugural celebration where she will perform her winning piece, "T'was The Night Before ..." and be presented with the coveted grand prize.

The prize package is no less than an all expenses paid trip to Waterport where she will be accommodated at the internationally renown Waterport Hilton and escorted by none other than Earl himself to an all you can eat fish dinner at the grand opening of Bessy's new restaurant.

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,703 ... "The Catty Fish Jig" by "The Putrids".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

T'was The Night Before ...

T'was the night before Leap Year, and down at Earl’s Shack
The Wranglers were restless, the Night Fish Crew hadn’t come back

The tarpits were stacked in the corner with care
In hope that ol’ Joan would not find them there

The newbies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of strange fishies danced in their heads.

And Gillian in her ‘kerchief, and Joe in his FW cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long weekend nap.

When out on the ocean there arose such a clatter,
Joe sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the porthole Joe flew like a newbie,
Tore open the shutters and got covered in cubies!

The moon on the bow of the dinghies below
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a mini-cruiser, carrying yet more tarpit beer.

With a little old driver, in a lava suit so brief,
He knew in a moment he’d come from the Reef.

More crazy then Schizos his Night Crew they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Terri! now, Joyce! now, Daryl and Alvin!
On, Len! On, Lee! on, Dave and on Kristen!
To the top of the poop deck! to the top of the trawl!
So FISH NOW, so FISH NOW! There’s a new Level for all!"

As wet as the seaweed that before the wild hurricane soared,
When they meet with an obstacle they leap to the Board.
So off to the Discussion Board the Wranglers they flew,
With a cruiser of popcorn, and the Earl Monster too.

And then, in a twinkling, Joe heard out the back
The whingers and moaners had entered the Shack
As Joe drew in his head, and was turning around,
In through the door came the Crew with a bound.

Their jubblies where covered with fur from head to the foot,
And the others all carried the rubies and loot.
A bundle of RLC they had stacked in the shack,
And Daryl the Giver, was opening his sack.

Now their eyes-how they twinkled! and dimples how merry!
Their cheeks were like roses, and their noses coloured cherry!
Now some of their mouths were drawn up like a bow,
Whilst some they had beards and some hair of snow.

Now some clenched their Resources all tight in their teeth,
While smoke from the Hippie fish circled their heads like a wreath.
Now you couldn’t see the face of the one who’d a little round tum,
But it shook when he laughed, like a bowl of hot chilli chum!

They weren’t chubby or plump, more like Suave fish,
And Joe laughed when he saw them, they had style, they were swish!
A wink of Len’s eye and a twist of his head,
Soon let Joe know he had nothing to dread.

They speak not a word, but get on with the task,
If you’re new and have questions, you’ve only to ask.
When laying down their thoughts or compiling some prose,
Most of us they please, the others? Who knows!

They spring to their keyboards, and give Joe a whistle,
And away they all go at the speed of a missle.
But Joe oft hears them exclaim, ‘ere they speed into the night,
"Happy Fishing to all, and to all a good-bite!"

--
Mandi Richardson (Australia)

Read More......

Feb 26 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Arguably Anuisance, from the Farovian Fish and Gaming Commission, has issued a writ to "Cease and Desist all Competition Participation" against wranglette Aliciata McCoyver.

Still in shock over the public disclosure of the tryst between McCoyver and RLC Mogul Darly Davis, Anuisance has been unavailable for comment but seen scurrying about the department headquarters with heaps of documentation and legal tombs.

Ranks closed quickly around the exceedingly popular McCoyver and a public rally is rumoured to be scheduled for some time later today at a currently undisclosed location.

Froggy Flabbotom, Ace reporter for the Farovian News, has it from a reliable source that the writ issued to McCoyver is specific to competitions run by Davis. 

Froggy, in total disbelief, mumbled something to the effect that the rally is also rumoured to be expected to last longer that the typical 14 minutes with thousands of McCoyver friendly wranglers, in a totally unprecedented action, having agreed to use their skips in order to attend.

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,711 ... "Red Wrangler Blues" by "City Joe and the Fish".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

Read More......

Feb 25 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Red Love Chum Mogul, Darly "YOU'VE BEEN CHUMMED!" Davis, revealed the recipient of a steamy romance that has been brewing, just below the surface, on the RLC contest boards tonight. 

Arguably Anuisance, from the Farovian Fish and Gaming Commission, contacted moments ago, was shocked to hear of the circumstances of the tryst and will be pursuing a complete investigation.

Gotcha Onthecouch, Chief Psychologist with the Warm-N-Fuzzy Clinic of Farovia, who happened to be in the news rooms doing an interview for our "Winning ... How Come It's Never Me" series, is expressing concern over the remainder of the female Wranglers now that Darly is certifiably committed and will be watching the scene carefully.

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown. Next on the countdown is number 7,721 ... "Red Love Chum Me Baby" by the Joe Faron Foursome.

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even fishermen can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

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WGOFISH News … [Issue 003]

This just in ....

The Supreme Court of Farovia handed down a unanimous decision yesterday in the petition of the right wing group WHIMPER [Winning However Is My Personal Extended Right] that claimed in their petition to the court that the use of attractants in fishing tournaments is unfair.  The entire bench stood to deliver the brief decision and, in perfect synchronization, said ... "You've got to be joking ... bugger off!".
This decision, according to court clerk Phillip Pencilpeni, is expected to be indicative [his word not mine] of what's to be expected in the remaining 43,296 petitions that WHIMPER has in the court system to date. 
Chief Justice Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found pacing the server room mumbling "fishing ... game ... what's the mystery here" over and over to himself and deemed incapable of additional comment.

The Love Chum / Gold Exchange was the scene of a foiled robbery attempt earlier today. The stunning part of of the gong show was that it didn't involve one of the usual RLC vendors [who apparently prefer the term ...broker].  Darvy Keeghandler stringer for the local branch of Trouters wire service was reportedly fishing the RLC market to see what he could catch between real casts and almost stumbled into a trap that has apparently been set quite frequently in the past, for a number of unsuspecting newbies to the exchange.  This, in an interview with Darvy;

"I'd stumbled my way around the exchange until I figured how to put out a buy order.  Having managed to put one for the 100RLC I wanted @500pp I almost jumped out of my wallies when a sell order came up with minutes - at first glance, with all the right numbers in it.  Sean [the Sleazeball] Suckerseeker had sent a trade: 100 RLC for 500,000 of my gold.  It did look a bit too good to be true, nobody really sells at 500pp and I've never really been much good with figures [well those kinda figures], so I gave it a good read.  I got to the end of the trade notice, where the gold/pp is listed ... sure enough 5,000 pp was not quite the deal I was looking for.  Seems Suckerseeker thought I was a typical tourist fisherman incapable of decipherin' the ritten word" .  Authorities were called and a crowd gathered but "the sleazeball" had scampered, slipping into electronic oblivion like a warranty claim from Microsurft.

The Suggestions / Ideas Tribunal of Farovia has issued a public tender for the production and delivery of two big rubber stamps.  One is to be engraved with "Not A Chance In Hell" and the other with "You Must Be Pissed you Silly Git". 
When questioned on the lack of a stamp approving suggestions/ideas Billy-Bob Basketcase, Grand Poombah of the tribunal responded with; "You haven't been reading that section of the forum, have you." When further questioned, specifically on the redundancy of two stamps ... "Oh, the second one is for the lads across the pond ... if you get my drift. They don't seem to 'get' anything resembling the first one, not like our US, Asian and European visitors."
When asked about the Aussies and Canadians ... he just giggled and wandered away.

FART, the Favorian Association of Renewed Tourism is circulating a petition to have the consumption of popcorn banned from all pubic places. It's not a dislike for the popcorn, FART representative Anosmia Olfactory clarified, at a rally held this afternoon on the courthouse lawn. It's the cartons strewn about Farovia that FART is trying to deal with. Simply entitled "The Popcorn FART Bill", it is expected to be presented to the council once enough signatures have been gathered.

In sports news the Farovian offshoot AFL footie team, the Adelaidey Poofters were trounced for the16th time in a row on home court by Goobah Girls of Estonia. Late in the 9th inning the Poofters, trailing by their usual 300 pts, simply walked out of the stadium and sashayed off to PeeTank Petes Lava Bar sining "Oy Oy Oy" at the top of their falsetto voices, to drown their sorrows. Bless the dears, but lock up the wee lads missus, the Poofters are on the piss.

Weather ... same old.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown. Next on the countdown is number 7,843 ... "A Kiss Like a Fireball Fish" buy the "Dr. Deceit and the Twigs". WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even fishermen can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

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WGOFISH News … [Issue 002]

... this just in;

RLC donations are rumoured to be the fault of this mornings server sluggishness.  According to renown financier Plumgob Snootybugger, who asked to remain anonymous [snicker], ...

With the state of the Farovian gold market it would seem that everyone is buying and hoarding RLC, and not just the bit that is available on the Love Chum / Gold Exchange there's a huge influx of US currency. Unfortunately all these foreign investments require server time.

Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found giggling foolishly on the server room floor, sitting in a heap of the foreign currency tossing it into the air.

Local authorities are pleading with the public to assist in the apprehension [just for questioning] of believed prankster Daryl “YOU'VE BEEN CHUMMED! “ Davis.  There have need numerous complaints of people being randomly and unexpectedly assaulted with buckets of chum although there has yet to be any evidence of what kind of chum is being used.  Those assaulted however are showing up at the clinics for medical care with their pockets stuffed with the Red Love variety – authorities remain stumped though.

Farovian heart-throb Alvintino Clamptight had to be briefly hospitalized after an all-nighter that went a little astray. Local authorities were called to Waterport Hilton early this morning in response to a frantic call from hotelier Gretta Grubgrinder. In a phone interview with Melvin Codspocket who transported Alvin to the hospital in his ambulance Melvin had the following to say:

Awww man, you should have seen it.  All the furniture had been shoved in the closet and the carpet covered with a plastic ... what, I can't say that on the radio – OK.  Anyway there were several empty bottles of cooking ... huh, that either – FINE.  How about the empty cases of Tarpit Stout and bottles of Rum ... oh, that's OK, great.  There was a lot of them.  It looked like there had been quite the party.  When I got there women were still crawling out of the place – every one of them bare ... no, not that either eh?  Oh, you want to hear about Alvintino.  Man, you should have seen him, lying on the gurney with this huge grin on his face, mumbling jubblies, jubblies ... over and over again.  No, I don't know what that means.  Yea, he was released from the hospital about an hour after I dropped him off. He said he was goin' fishin'. Gotta go – there's a call.

When asked if charges were being laid by the Hilton, Grubgringer was appalled ...

Bring charged against Alivintino – heavens no. Without Alvin I'd end up hanging about on the corner outside the Love Chum / Gold Exchange with the newbies begging for RLC to sell. I just had to call the authorities, the penthouse Alvin rented was 43 stories above me and the ruckus woke me up. No, there'll be no charges ... Alvin is so dreamy <sigh>.

In other news ... Farovian starlet Kareen Axteller was released from custody an hour ago after being found earlier this morning, in an indecent state, several blocks from the Waterport Hilton. When contacted “her people” had no comment other than Ms Axtell is resting. Although a rumoured associate of Clamptight there is no evidence to tie the two situations together.

The US women's mud wrestling team soundly pummelled the sorely outranked team from Upper Mongolia today in a pre-season match put on the for the Girl Guides of Farovia. The highlight of the otherwise uneventful match occurred during half-time when US team captain Terri “I’ll Smack Ya” Pullero rolled Ace photographer Flashbulb Flabbottom into a small ball, stuffed him into an empty popcorn carton [which seem to be every-where these days] and punted him right out of the stadium as she shouted “I told you ... NO PICTURES, you stupid frog!”. Froggy is reported as recovering and sharing a comfy hospital room with his brother.

The weather is expected to remain typical ... light in the morning turning to bright during the day and darkness this evening through to tomorrow.

Now back to the top 10,000 countdown with number 8,105 ... “Chum This Sucker” buy the “The Joan of Farovia Blues Band” on WGOFISH the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

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WGOFISH News … [Issue 001]

This just in ....

The Farovian dollar sunk to a new low today with trading on the Love Chum / Gold Exchange forcing it down to 43,500 to the $1 US. Financial annalists seemed unperturbed with the new low stating simply that “It's been a free fall since the opening of the exchange shortly after the fiefdom of small islands was opened to public fishing.” With RLC currently trading at 2500pp it is unknown when if ever the downward spiral will stop. Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found sobbing on the server room floor and refused to comment on the current financial drop.

In other news ... Ace reporter to the Farovian Times, Froggy Flabbottom is reported to be recovering in hospital after being beaten to unconsciousness with a Sonar Pulverizer at the gates of millionaire Markus Furious Sans Culpra mansion. Froggies brother Flashbulb, there to take pictures of the interview had this to report;

It was crazy, we went to get an interview on the current gold price plummet but Fury started thrashing Froggy with the Pulverizer screaming “It's my gold – you can't have it. You want some, click Fish Now. Get off my wall you leeches.”

I couldn't even get in a good picture there were all these guys surrounding Fury shooting spear-guns at me. Froggy is expected to recover in a matter of days and is accepting flies [he really likes the chocolate covered ones] if you've a mind to send him a get-well token.

In sports news ... yesterdays Micks vs Poms match was cancelled when no one, not even the players showed up. Apparently there was a one day release of a new fish and everyone was out fishing.

The weather is expected to remain typical ... light in the morning turning to bright during the day and darkness this evening through to tomorrow.

Now back to the top 10,000 countdown with number 8,293 ... “Hooked on You” buy the “Putrid Fish Foursome” on WGOFISH the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

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