WGOFISH News … [Issue 003]

This just in ....

The Supreme Court of Farovia handed down a unanimous decision yesterday in the petition of the right wing group WHIMPER [Winning However Is My Personal Extended Right] that claimed in their petition to the court that the use of attractants in fishing tournaments is unfair.  The entire bench stood to deliver the brief decision and, in perfect synchronization, said ... "You've got to be joking ... bugger off!".
This decision, according to court clerk Phillip Pencilpeni, is expected to be indicative [his word not mine] of what's to be expected in the remaining 43,296 petitions that WHIMPER has in the court system to date. 
Chief Justice Joe Faron, self proclaimed Supreme Leader and King of All Farovian Islands, was found pacing the server room mumbling "fishing ... game ... what's the mystery here" over and over to himself and deemed incapable of additional comment.

The Love Chum / Gold Exchange was the scene of a foiled robbery attempt earlier today. The stunning part of of the gong show was that it didn't involve one of the usual RLC vendors [who apparently prefer the term ...broker].  Darvy Keeghandler stringer for the local branch of Trouters wire service was reportedly fishing the RLC market to see what he could catch between real casts and almost stumbled into a trap that has apparently been set quite frequently in the past, for a number of unsuspecting newbies to the exchange.  This, in an interview with Darvy;

"I'd stumbled my way around the exchange until I figured how to put out a buy order.  Having managed to put one for the 100RLC I wanted @500pp I almost jumped out of my wallies when a sell order came up with minutes - at first glance, with all the right numbers in it.  Sean [the Sleazeball] Suckerseeker had sent a trade: 100 RLC for 500,000 of my gold.  It did look a bit too good to be true, nobody really sells at 500pp and I've never really been much good with figures [well those kinda figures], so I gave it a good read.  I got to the end of the trade notice, where the gold/pp is listed ... sure enough 5,000 pp was not quite the deal I was looking for.  Seems Suckerseeker thought I was a typical tourist fisherman incapable of decipherin' the ritten word" .  Authorities were called and a crowd gathered but "the sleazeball" had scampered, slipping into electronic oblivion like a warranty claim from Microsurft.

The Suggestions / Ideas Tribunal of Farovia has issued a public tender for the production and delivery of two big rubber stamps.  One is to be engraved with "Not A Chance In Hell" and the other with "You Must Be Pissed you Silly Git". 
When questioned on the lack of a stamp approving suggestions/ideas Billy-Bob Basketcase, Grand Poombah of the tribunal responded with; "You haven't been reading that section of the forum, have you." When further questioned, specifically on the redundancy of two stamps ... "Oh, the second one is for the lads across the pond ... if you get my drift. They don't seem to 'get' anything resembling the first one, not like our US, Asian and European visitors."
When asked about the Aussies and Canadians ... he just giggled and wandered away.

FART, the Favorian Association of Renewed Tourism is circulating a petition to have the consumption of popcorn banned from all pubic places. It's not a dislike for the popcorn, FART representative Anosmia Olfactory clarified, at a rally held this afternoon on the courthouse lawn. It's the cartons strewn about Farovia that FART is trying to deal with. Simply entitled "The Popcorn FART Bill", it is expected to be presented to the council once enough signatures have been gathered.

In sports news the Farovian offshoot AFL footie team, the Adelaidey Poofters were trounced for the16th time in a row on home court by Goobah Girls of Estonia. Late in the 9th inning the Poofters, trailing by their usual 300 pts, simply walked out of the stadium and sashayed off to PeeTank Petes Lava Bar sining "Oy Oy Oy" at the top of their falsetto voices, to drown their sorrows. Bless the dears, but lock up the wee lads missus, the Poofters are on the piss.

Weather ... same old.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown. Next on the countdown is number 7,843 ... "A Kiss Like a Fireball Fish" buy the "Dr. Deceit and the Twigs". WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even fishermen can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.