March 03 News Flash

This is Chumley Trapflapper with a late breaking WGOFISH News Flash ...

Illegal Putrid Repellents Seized ...

Late yesterday evening, the Farovian Coast Guard, acting on an anonymous tip, stopped and seized an unregistered freighter entering Farovian waters. The freighter contained highly illegal Putrid Repellents. After a search of the cargo, local authorities were notified and Earl, brother of our beloved Captain Jozek, was arrested when his name was found to be on a delivery manifest included in the cargo.

When asked about his involvement, Earl had this to say;

I was suffering heavy losses at the Hotel and Casino on Blue Crescent. They banned me from entering the Casino and they sent two gentlemen, Luigi and Guido, from their Accounting Department to the shack in Waterport, looking to collect what I owed. I didn’t have the money at the time and they told me that they would return and I wouldn’t like it when they did. I did not appreciate the tone of their voices, so decided to act against the Hotel. Knowing that the Hotel is the only one on Blue Crescent, I figured that I would try to put them out of business.

When asked about why Putrid Repellents were illegal, an official from the Fishery Department released this statement;

The Putrid Fish are a pestilence in the waters around Blue Crescent. Their agonizing stench drives away tourists and we are trying to do what we can to rid ourselves of this affliction. Anything that causes the population of these fish to increase just makes it that much harder to eradicate the species from our waters.

EU Imposed Trade Ban Possible ...

The Farovian Trade Ministry has been in closed door meetings with representatives of the EU since their arrival in Waterport on Sunday. Apparently the EU is considering a Trade Ban with Farovia. It appears that fish by-products have been found washing up, in great numbers, on the beaches of Farovian trading partners. In a conference call with officials of the respective trade partners Coast Guards, they all stated there was an increased sighting of Farovian freighters travelling off their waters, starting from around the time the problem of the by-products washing up on the beaches. They did not believe that the increase in sightings and the increase in fish by-products on the beaches was a coincidence.

When the Farovian trade Ministry was contacted, Trade Master Line Baiter, had this to say;

Of course there is going to be an increase in the number of sightings of freighters. Ever since the marked increase in the number of Professional Fish Wranglers all over Farovia, our own facilities cannot handle the increase in processing fish by-products. We have contracted with some Canadian companies to handle the Fish by-products and make fertilizer using them. The shortest route for the freighters to travel to Eastern Canada from Farovia happens to be through the Mediterranean ... maybe.

No one bothered to contact the Canadians, as no one wants to hear what they have to say.

 

Watch for the full stories in this weeks WGOFISH Sunday Edition ... maybe.

Now back to the Chumley Trapflapper Show, Noon to sometime thereafter with the top 10,000 countdown.

Next on the countdown is number 7,689 ... "Adrift Without You" by "Mr E Lurker".

WGOFISH ... 123.45 [a number even Wranglers can remember] on your radio dial, the FM station of choice by all Farovians.

 

These stories in from our foreign correspondent,
Andrew Lemmon