MVP Presidential Inauguration Speech

My fellow peoples of Farovia, today is a great day. The Wranglers of Farovia have officially voted me the MVP President, I'm here with the most beautiful of all wranglettes, the weather is ideal for fishing having caught more than my fair share already today, I've got a RLC bucket that's overflowing as usual and, thankfully, half a case of Tarpit Stout in me ... the rest will be joining it's brethren brew soon. Yes, a great day indeed.

I would like to welcome our honoured guests from the Farovian hub of Waterport and welcome all wranglers who have come here to fish and enjoy these beautiful islands. I would like to recognize the other nominees from the MVP Presidential Election!!! thread and specifically thank John Aspiasu who's idea it was to wander down this path. I would especially like to thank Gretta Grubgrinder of the Hilton for compin' Alicia and I with the penthouse suite for the week, fully stocked with Rum and Stout, and moving Alvin down to the efficiency room adjoining your quarters. Of special personal significance, I’d like to thank The First Lady, Alicia McCoy not only for doing all the charity work that she has been into lately and not even for selling the RLC out of the pot to keep me in Tarpit Stout and my habit adequately supplied but for coming along and making Fish Wrangler a lot more to me than I ever thought it could be.

In all seriousness though, I am actually honoured that those of you that took part in the initial and the subsequent threads would consider me as a favourite when it comes to "someone who is consistently entertaining and always good for a laugh" ::buurrrrrrp:: ... but enough of that, let's get back to my Presidency.

::swigs deeply from the tarpit stout in his left hand::

So, what can you wranglers expect from me as your newly elected MVP President. Well, let me inform you right here and now that, using the powers vested in me through the position of MVP President Elect to the fullest extent possible;

::swigs heavily from the tarpit stout in his right hand::

• I will ensure that every wrangler has the continued right and freedom to Fish Now every fifteen minutes earning points and gold whenever you catch a fish,
• I will ensure your right to buy RLC through a number of different channels including the Love Chum / Gold Exchange where fair market value will continue to mean squat and you have the right, naaaa the privilege, ::burp:: to pay what's bing asked,
• I will ensure that you maintain the right to pack up your gear and ::hick:: piss right off whenever you feel the game isn't going in the direction you think it should,
• that and all the other bits of the game ... I'm all over your rights and freedoms as they are written/exist.

::chugs the stout in the left hand::
::tosses the bottle to the back of the stage ::
::slides a fresh one out of the box and chews the top off it::

Well, to get to the meat of things, as it were. As I've yet to see a President anywhere ::hick:: let himself get bogged down with anything to do with his actual job, I've got a few <ahem> appointments I would like to make. The appointments are like this:

• First off ... I'm appointing Alvin as my Vice President. This will work out well for every one as I plan on appropriating the suite I'm in as our permanent headquarters and seeing as how Alvin already has it “fitted out” shall we say, I can't think of a better choice. Alvin's job will be to do all the stuff you think I'm gonna do and sign my name to it.
• Next, John Aspiasu, yea the guy with the big mouth who started all this. How he could possibly be getting anything other than the House Speaker position would baffle the best of us. He'll be tasked with keeping Alvin and the rest of these reprobates out of trouble. Talk about the cat with the keys to the aviary.
  Moving on ...

::sucks back the remainder of the stout in his right hand::
::grabs a replacement::

• Terri “The Leeezard” Puleo is a natural, with her pleasant demeanour and feisty whit for the office of Secretary of State ... she'll be a treat at all those “dinners”.

::buurrrrrrpppppp:: ... woah, pardon me
::staggers a bit::

• Although the Secretary of Morale portfolio was originally going to be filled with someone else – you see I really wanted to fill it with someone who doesn't actually have any. The portfolio is going to Len Orth. He's close.
• If there's anyone around that can get away with calling a red-neck wrangler a prancing poofter and get thanked for the compliment it's Dave Keighan so the office of Public Relations will be going to him. Based on the selections I've made so far, I am certain his skills will come in handy from time to time. ::ppfffffttttt:: oh dear, sorry about that. My cloddily functions seem to have a mind of their own. ::brrrrrrppp::
• Secretary of Contests, without question Andrew Lemmon is the right man for the job ... better Andrews RLC being given away than mine.
• Mandi Ducharme is hereby appointed to the office of Governor General. Any of you unfamiliar with this position can have a squint at how it works for the chosen Canadians who do this ... to sum up; travel the world in the comfort of a private jet and party with dignitaries and mucky-mucks all on the taxpayers tab. Actual responsibilities ... none.
• Finally, Kristen Snoderly is assigned to the position of R.A.K Secretary.

Before we wrap it up here, I'd like to address the claims made today by the pretentious Farovian law firm of Duey, Cheatum & How .... they're out of their minds and further more <ummm> Alvin, handle this will you.

Well, I'm getting the pick up the pace signal from the stage manager- either that of she's fanning her armpits. Not only that but being just a little on the blotto side at the moment, I think I'll take this opportunity ... oh man, I gotta get out of here and have a horrendous squirt pretty soon.

My final honour this evening, is to introduce to you Ms Mandi Richardson who will delight you with her new hit single “T'was The Night Before ...”.

::staggers/falls off Tarpit Stout box::
::staggers off stage with Alicia keeping him upright while ...  ::
::waving to the crowd hollering “I love you guys … I really do” ::

 

--
President Elect
Daryl Davis
Farovia